


There's a Better Version of Me

by yeonxbin (stillhuman)



Series: Version of Me [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Choi Yeonjun-Centric, Cussing, Drunk Singing, Gen, Inspired by Music, Karaoke, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sad, idk some people are uncomfortable with curse words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25565965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillhuman/pseuds/yeonxbin
Summary: Beomgyu invites the guys to Karaoke night at their favorite bar three months after Yeonjun and Soobin break up because he misses the five of them hanging out and thinks Yeonjun is ready to see them again.
Relationships: Choi Soobin & Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Series: Version of Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854541
Comments: 11
Kudos: 40





	There's a Better Version of Me

**Author's Note:**

> Title from and work inspired by [Version of Me by Kimbra](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGnEiAqFIU4). Hopefully, what I saw in my head as I listened to this song translates well. 
> 
> The boys are aged-up 3 years otherwise, Taehyun and Kai couldn't be in the bar, lol.

Their breakup had been, for lack of a better word, rocky. Soobin showed up at Yeonjun’s apartment unexpectedly one night and voiced his thoughts on the two of them breaking up. Yeonjun had reacted –scratch that – had blown up in hysterics. Somewhat understandably, Yeonjun was confused. From his point of view, he and Soobin were doing just fine. Every couple had arguments and the two of them were able to work through their problems over time. So, when Soobin suggested that they split up, Yeonjun just about lost it.

That night consisted of countless tears. Most of the yelling and finger-pointing coming from Yeonjun, and sighs of frustration coming from Soobin. Yeonjun’s memory of that evening is very cloudy. He isn’t sure whether or not he should be thankful for that. He can only recall hearing the words, “I think we should break up.” “One-sided.” “Selfish.” “I’ve felt this way for a while.” Towards the end of the argument, Yeonjun was growing desperate. He had tried multiple times to beg for Soobin’s forgiveness, beg for another chance to _do better_.

Unfortunately, Soobin had seemingly had enough. Clearing his throat, taking Yeonjun’s hands in his own, Soobin said, “I don’t think you’ve realized this yet, but I’ve talked to you countless times about how much I feel like I give in this relationship and how much I feel you take.”

Yeonjun looks up, eyes wandering all over Soobin’s flushed, tear-stained face, recalling their many conversations, all of which Yeonjun brushed off.

“Each conversation was another chance for you,” Soobin continued. “I don’t think I can give anymore, Yeonjun.” He let go of Yeonjun’s hands, choosing to run his own through his hair while he gathered his thoughts. Yeonjun is still staring at Soobin, silent tears running down his face.

“I think,” Soobin begins again, “for the sake of our friend group, we can end this somewhat on good terms.” Yeonjun, as if finally realizing that Soobin is breaking up with him, just lets his head fall. “For now, I don’t think we should talk anymore. And until we can look at each other as friends, I think it’s best we limit our interactions.”

Yeonjun croaks out an “ok.” Tears falling onto his lap from where his head is still down, afraid to look up at the boy sitting in front of him.

After sitting in very uncomfortable silence, Soobin eventually stands up, content with the outcome of what started as a dramatic argument and waits for Yeonjun to do the same. He eyes Yeonjun, who is avoiding looking at him entirely, before walking towards the door.

Yeonjun follows silently, thankful the tears had finally stopped. He watches Soobin put his shoes on, his brain screaming at him to _just say something, anything to make him stay a little longer._ His heart, though, knows that the least he could do for Soobin is to let him leave peacefully. So, he makes the choice to stand there quietly.

Suddenly, Soobin has his arms tightly wrapped around Yeonjun. Yeonjun immediately brings his arms around the taller one’s waist, shoving his face into his neck. They’re both crying again. The pit in their stomachs confirming that this is the end. They don’t know how long they stand there, embracing in front of Yeonjun’s door. As their sobs start to calm, Yeonjun is the first to pull away. They look at each other for a moment, both too afraid to say goodbye, before Soobin is turned back around again, opening the door and walking out of the elder’s apartment.

* * *

It’s nearly 3 months later and from what Yeonjun had initially seen on social media, Soobin had taken the breakup exceptionally well. On the other hand, Yeonjun was a sad mess. Yeonjun spent the first two weeks of their breakup crying, drunk texting Soobin countless apologies, and shedding many tears onto Beomgyu’s shoulder. Eventually, Yeonjun had to block Soobin on every social media. Not out of spite, but because the younger one seemed to be enjoying life and although Yeonjun wanted to be happy for him, seeing Soobin have fun while he was a wreck, made him feel horrible. Soobin however, didn’t notice the missing boy from his follower's list or didn’t seem to care as Yeonjun had never gotten a text asking why he blocked him.

It was Tuesday night when, after a long facetime call, Beomgyu deemed Yeonjun fit for interaction, he texted their group chat:

**Beomgyu: Guys!! Our favorite bar is having Karaoke night this Friday and drinks are half off for groups that have people sing! The five of us haven’t hung out as a group in so long :( We should go!!**

Yeonjun read the text and sighed. He wasn’t even sure if _he_ was ready.

**Kai: I’m down! I missed all of us hanging out :(((**

**Taehyun: Me too!**

**Soobin: Sounds like fun :)**

Yeonjun didn’t respond, knowing that Beomgyu would be forcing him to go anyways.

* * *

The bar was somewhat crowded, but the five of them managed to steal two small tables and push them together so the five of them could sit and talk comfortably as they waited for Karaoke night to start. It was obvious the three youngest planned the seating arrangement ahead of time to make things less awkward for their hyungs. On one side of the table sat Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and Soobin. On the other side of the table, Kai sat across from Soobin and Taehyun across from Beomgyu. Yeonjun was thankful. He never really had to look at Soobin and only ever saw a blurry version of him as he turned now and then to focus only on Beomgyu when the latter was speaking to him.

Although the hangout was going well, Yeonjun was still nervous. They had gotten to the bar early to have to catch up before they were supposed to sing. Now, he’s three beers deep and babysitting a fourth as the group plays rock, paper, scissors to decide the one to go up and sing first before Karaoke starts. Yeonjun pouts as he looks at Taehyun’s hand making scissors and his own holding out paper, the rest of the group laughing at Taehyun’s overdramatic victory exclamation of “YES!”

It’s 15 agonizing minutes of mediocre singers and drunk friends having fun on stage, and Yeonjun’s 2/3 of the way done with his beer before their group's table is called. All of the boys turn to Yeonjun, except Soobin who’s preoccupied with his phone, not bothering to look up. Yeonjun smiles sheepishly at them before standing up, and _whoa_ , the world spins for a second before Yeonjun finds his balance. Beomgyu eyes him a bit making Yeonjun laugh out an “I’m fine,” before walking to the stage.

The boys see Yeonjun speak with the worker in charge of the music, who shakes his head, followed by Yeonjun pulling out his phone and handing it to the worker. The song starts after Yeonjun sits on the stool in the middle of the stage.

As the instrumental starts, Yeonjun looks at the crowd and says into the mic, “hi.” Soobin puts his phone down. “I’m Yeonjun and this is Version of Me by Kimbra.”

He brings his feet up to rest on the bar beneath the stool, elbows landing on either leg, head down, eyes closed, cheek in the palm of his hand as he brings the mic up to his mouth.

_Next time I'll be kinder with you  
There's just this habit that I have  
I throw my words around like fire  
They catch on your good heart and your peace of mind  
Next time I'll be kinder_

Beomgyu is only a little stressed at the moment. Even though his eyes are closed, Yeonjun seems fine. For now, Beomgyu will try to relax and enjoy his hyung’s singing. The rest of the group is still, focused on their hyung sitting in the middle of the stage.

At the mellow song choice, the whole bar seems to silently agree to quiet down to a low mumble so that those that want to, can hear the stranger on the stage sing.

_If I learn to take it lighter when you  
Tell me there's something that I lack  
Would that make you change your mind?  
Would that make it better and buy me some time?_

Yeonjun’s eyes are still closed, he’s still bent over on the stool, already lost in the song. The bar is quieter than before. All that’s heard is the instrumental, Yeonjun’s voice, and the clinking of glasses on tables.

_Cause I'm damned if I do  
And I'm damned if I don't  
Every time I swear I will  
You say that I won't  
But there’s a better version of me  
Stay for the person I'll be  
  
_

Yeonjun’s voice cracks and _oh fuck_ is he crying? Beomgyu’s stressed now, on the edge of his seat watching his hyung cry into a mic in front of so many people. The bar is completely quiet now besides Yeonjun and the song, everyone watching the man on the stage.

_If there's a next time I'll fight harder for you  
Won't take for granted what we had  
I wake with you in mind but I'm tired  
Of all these different phases  
Are all these faults of mine?_

At this point, it’s very obvious that Yeonjun is crying. Taehyun and Kai simultaneously turn to Beomgyu, worried looks on their faces. Soobin is as still as ever, expressionless as he continues to watch Yeonjun up on stage. Beomgyu has no idea what to do.

_’Cause I'm damned if I'm true_

_And I'm damned if I'm right_

_Every time you say I'll lose_

_I swear that I'm trying_

_If there's a better version of me_

_Would you stay for the person I'll be?_

There’s movement on stage and it’s Yeonjun finally sitting up. His eyes are still closed as he finishes the song.

_Stay for the person I’ll be  
Stay for the person I’ll be  
Stay for the person I’ll be  
Stay for the person I’ll be  
Stay for the person I’ll be  
Stay for the person I’ll be_

The song ends and the silence brings Yeonjun out of the state he was in. As he finally opens his eyes and realizes where he is and what he’s doing, he laughs. He laughs straight into the mic, surprising everyone in the bar. Shaking his head as he stands up, he walks over to return the mic and retrieve his phone and then swiftly off the stage. He quickly walks over to the boys’ table all of them but Soobin, whose eyes are still on the stage, carefully watching him. He sees Beomgyu about to say something and before he can, Yeonjun shakes his head and reaches for his drink. After finishing off the last third of his beer, he reaches into his pocket to pull out his wallet and as he tosses a couple of bills onto their table, smiles sheepishly and mumbles a “sorry guys, I think I should go.”

Yeonjun walks away from his friends, avoiding the stares of the other patrons as he exits the bar. The brisk, night air, sobering him as he makes the walk back to his apartment. His phone buzzes all night, a worried Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Kai on the other side. Yeonjun chooses to ignore them, sending a quick ‘I’m home’ text to their group chat instead. Deciding that he’ll come to terms with what happened tonight, tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, so please leave a comment and let me know how I did or what I can work on!  
> If you guys enjoy this, I may make a second part! I have a small idea already, so let me know.
> 
> ([fmot](https://twitter.com/yeonxsoob) I need friends)


End file.
